I’m finally back at it, after a break over the Christmas, and New Year period.
I hope that your holiday season was a fun time with family and friends. Ours was. Our kidlets are 4, 4 and 2 and they really enjoyed Christmas this year! It was a lot of fun!
Now that everyone is back in routine, back to work, and New Years resolutions seem like a long time ago, I was struck by a conversation that I had today with another mum at my twins preschool.
She was talking about how she had enjoyed a coffee that morning, sitting at home by herself, staring out the window and daydreaming. She thought that she had sat there for about an hour, and it was such a great experience for her to just “chill”.
And do you know the first thought that jumped into my head?
God, I’d feel guilty doing that. I have so much going on, that my mind would be screaming at me the whole time; “You don’t have time for this! You have a million things to do, get moving!”
I said that to her and she replied, “No, I don’t feel guilty. Taking time for myself makes me a better mum, a better lover, a better woman and everyone needs to do that and not feel any guilt at all.”
It was said with such confidence and simplicity and truth, that it stopped me for a minute. “Wow,” I thought, “I want to be able to have that.”
I want the permission from myself that I am absolutely “allowed” to do that.
What a bad choice of words! It is only me that does not give myself the permission to do this.
It is the battle in my mind that I constantly face and I know that is true for the majority of mums, and dads for that matter, that I meet.
Feeling busy feels like we are accomplishing something. If we are not busy, then we are not moving forward. It becomes like an addiction. When we stop for a moment, it feels so alien to us, that our mind tries to move us back to that comfortable state.
My mission now is to give myself the mental permission to take time to stop.
To rest. To do nothing. To make my mind still.
It is my battle at the moment, but one that I know will improve so many things if I can master it.
How are you mastering the guilt of doing nothing?